Stay Amazed

I’ve been struggling to write this blog post.  What do I say about the moment I’m in right now?  It’s just plain weird.  I have 10 days left of this life I’ve created in Costa Rica.  As much as I’m so ready to be home, there’s that part of my heart that is also very sad.  I live here.  I wake up, go to school, do homework, hang out with friends, laugh with my family, cry with my roommates, and speak a different language.  I’ve learned so much about the world, myself, and God in these three short months.  I’m going back to a place where life is relatively easy.  I don’t mean to belittle life in the states, but at home I don’t walk down my street past a person sleeping in the gutter.  Beggars don’t come to my door.  I feel safe at home.  I can do things ALONE at home.  I get to eat what I want at home.  I have family and friends that understand and love me.  I have a boyfriend who has blown me away with his kindness, patience, and friendship.  Of course I want to go back to that.  But I don’t want to forget this. 

Being the contemplative that I am, I want to make some broad, sweeping statements about what this time has been.  But it’s been the combination of so many small moments that have made it so wonderful.  What have I learned?  I've learned to speak Spanish, to use public transportation, to ask questions, to wear sunscreen, what to do in an earthquake, where to carry my ID, how to stay up late on skype and get up early for class, how to hail a cab, how to save money, how to barter, how to be late for everything, how to stick out for my faith, how to do the kiss on the cheek greeting, how to make friends, how to rent movies on itunes, how to merengue (only a little), how to eat beans and rice for every meal, how to do the finger-snap que torta thing, that horn honking is friendly, to throw the toilet paper in the trash, to live in the moment, to teach a class in Spanish, and much much more. 

So here I am.  What’s my conclusion?  I think it’s that I have so much more to learn.  I’ve barely scratched the surface of seeing God’s heart for his people and his world. 

I’ve had this thought that I’m excited to come home and feel “strong” again.  But then I’m reminded that any strength I feel apart from Christ is just an illusion.  How much better to wake up every morning feeling desperate for his help.  Jesus says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, blessed are the merciful, blessed are the pure in heart, blessed are the peacemakers, and blessed are those who are persecuted…”  Not exactly our idea of strength and not exactly the American dream right?

Last weekend I got to climb the highest peak in Costa Rica, Cerro Chirripó… probably the coolest thing I’ve done here.  And this is what I saw at 5 am on Sunday morning. 

What a beautiful life.  What a beautiful God. 

Stay amazed :)